I wanted to share a story with you. I am so proud, in awe, and refreshed by what I witnessed! It is clear that we are all doing something right. The other day I was walking two second grade boys from their school to the Junior Explorer Club when I heard the following conversation:
“Hey, when I saw you earlier today how come you didn’t say hi to me? I saw you look right at me.”
“Yeah I’m really sorry about that. I was with a friend and he didn’t know you so I didn’t know what to do… I should have come over and said hello but I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings so I didn’t say anything.”
“Oh, ok that makes sense.”
Just like that, this child was able to show accountability and admit that he was in an uncomfortable situation that would be hard to navigate for anyone. While there could have been drama and some hurt feelings, these boys were able to follow a path that ended up affirming their friendship. They showed an incredible amount of acceptance and understanding for each other and then they were able to just let it go. I was in awe! We see so many friendships lost because of people not being able to own up to a mistake they made and because they avoid situations that are difficult to fix.
Women are notorious for harboring anger towards one another because we can’t get over ourselves enough to just say
“I’m sorry, I should have done/said X. I just didn’t know avoid to avoid hurting your feelings. Next time I will do Y. Please forgive me.”
Jeez. Let’s give ourselves a break. We are human and we are going to mess up from time to time.
I know for me, apologizing is really hard because I fear the response. Nine times out of ten when I apologize its all Kumbaya again but that one time when you get an earful of ranting about how bad you made the other person feel, well, who would ever have the guts to apologize again?
But if they are your friend and you value your friendship, you should let them vent and get it out
(within reason; for me personally, if they begin to beat a dead horse, then I would reconsider my friendship).
Now on the flip side, how many of YOU have failed to take the initiative to confront a friend and express how a situation made you feel?